A Look Back 6/19 - 6/25

• Saturday, 6/20: Lily and I were looking at a picture of me when I was pregnant with Killian and Piper...

Lily- "When Lily big girl, me have Piper in my belly."

Me- "Well, you can have your own baby inside your belly."

Lily- "NO! ME HAVE PIPER IN MY BELLY!!"

Me- "OK. Calm down."

Lily- "Can Lily have Piper and killian in my belly?"

Me- "Sure, Lily. You can maybe have twins, too."

• Sunday, 6/21: Father's Day. It was a lovely day that consisted of breakfast in the morning, just the five of us. Lily gave Daddy her gift... Matching Mickey Mouse shirts. 
  

Then I took a pic of all of them...

Then I got the best father's Day gift of all... yeah, you heard that right. Dan took the kids to his parent's house and I got to spend some much needed alone time to get a few things done. After I danced and sang my heart out to a very loud mix of my favorite 90's girl bands, I cleaned a bit. It was a good time!

• Monday, 6/22: Lily is too funny...

Lily- "Piper is a brother."

Me- "No. Piper is a sister. Killian is a brother." 

Lily- "Killian is a son and Daddy is a son."

Me- "That's right! And what are you?"

Lily- "Lily a moon."

•  Also Monday, 6/22: This happened-

• Killian got his 2nd tooth this week. Now he has both bottom fronts. Piper already has four teeth. Is it wrong for me to tell Killian he's losing to his sister in the milestone department. Maybe I should stop that since, 1: it really isn't a competition. And 2: I really don't want them to feel like everything is a competition with the other.

Lily Didn't Do It

Nope. Lily didn't do it. She didn't write on her table. My three year old is very clear that her friends Roar and Robot did it!

I love her imagination. Her imaginary friend, Roar, is the monster from her room that used to scare her until I told her to introduce herself to him. Now they are besties! Her friend Robot came along after we watched the movie The Iron Giant. Then, of course, she has to make her other friends help clean up. These would include the Fisher Price Corn Popper and the Fisher Price Little People City Skyway.

So, yes, this video is primarily about Lily, but I can't help but notice all that unfolded laundry. I think there's three baskets full. Yes, all clean. This is like an everyday event around here. There is always at least one basket of laundry hanging around needing to be folded and put away. Hey, there are five of us, or more accurately, one three year old and two six month olds who go through clothes and bibs and burp cloths and blankets like it's the coolest thing to constantly be doing laundry. Well, it is the coolest thing, isn't it? Please tell me it's cool.

Toddlers and Markers

OK, cute. Right? Also funny, but being the parent of a child who does this, you gotta be very careful how you react. When my three year old came into my bedroom Sunday morning with a huge smile on her face screaming excitedly, "Mommy! Lily O K.C.! Lily O K.C.!" I should not have laughed. Not out loud, at least. But I did. It was funny. She was funny.

Let's take this back a bit so you understand where my daughter came up with the idea to "tattoo" herself. My big brother, my only brother, has a ton of tattoos. Here's a picture so you can kinda get the idea:

This was Lily and my brother when she was two and a half months old, so she's seen tattoos her whole life. Nothing out of the ordinary for her. My brother, her uncle (or "O" as Lily puts it) also has a beard. Again, nothing out of the ordinary for her. Every time Lily sees a guy with a beard or sees tattoos, she immediately associates it with her "O K.C."

So, that was the back story. Flash forward to this past Sunday and now you know why she drew on herself. She wanted to be like her O K.C. and have tattoos. I have no idea why she was thinking about that and what prompted her to pick up the marker, but she did and it was very funny. I always see or hear stories about children who do this type of thing but never imagined my daughter would do it. I, myself, had once drawn on my body with a kid's blue eyeshadow "crayon." Long story short, I fell asleep and because I was a very heavy sleeper, my aunt and parents thought I was unconscious, turning blue because I was dying and rushed me to the hospital. I didn't wake up until after the nurse called over the speaker, "Code Blue!" and the doctor realized what was really going on. Good times. I wonder if my parents laughed about that one when we all got home from the hospital?

Anyway, let me say again how I should not have laughed out loud... This picture was from yesterday (Monday).

Great. Now she gave herself a beard. Still proclaiming she's O K.C. and very proud of herself. Remind me to hide the markers! At least we only buy washable markers, crayons, and paint for her so cleanup wasn't that bad. I also should be relieved that her artistic abilities of making herself look oh so fantastic, didn't spill over to her baby brother and sister who were sitting by her, most likely watching her do this to herself. So, thanks Lily? I guess?

Blatz Beer Ad

I didn't realize all I needed was a case of Blatz Beer in the house. Geez, it means so much to me as a young mother who is so tired of listening to my baby cry. I need that case of beer to act as a stimulating tonic and don't get me started on how healthy it is for me and my baby. Isn't it so obvious by the dazed look on my baby's face that he is enjoying it, too? I mean, really. Drinking beer at 3 month of age is nothing. He certainly won't grow up to be an alcoholic. This is Blatz Beer for goodness sake!

Men are better than women!

Men,
We women do not care about the ugly-ass sweater you bought just to show off to us. We have better things to be excited about, like you thinking we are useful and even pleasant inside the house. Gee, it makes us beam just to know you won't be hauling us up a cliff when we secretly want to hurl you off of one. Because, let's face it, women are such a drag on a mountain. So you go ahead and show off that warm, hand fashioned sweater you bought for yourself. Show it off to your mountain buddy because isn't he the one you want to look good in front of anyway? On the level!

What does "Identical" mean again?

I really am amazed sometimes at the stupidity of others. This stupidity of not knowing what the word "identical" means when it comes to twins.

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identical
adjective
1.     similar in every way
2.     being the very same; selfsame
3.     agreeing exactly


identical twin
noun
     one of a pair of twins who develop from a single fertilized ovum and therefore have the same genotype, are of the same sex, and usually resemble each other closely.


fraternal twin
noun
     one of a pair of twins, not necessarily resembling each other, or of the same sex, that develop from two separately fertilized ova.
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The definition escapes so many people.

1. When I went in for my first post-natal checkup at my obstetrician's office, the nurse asked me what the sex of my twins were. I said a boy and a girl. She then asked me if they are identical.
2. I was talking with the receptionist at my children's pediatrician's office who has twins herself. I was talking to her about this very subject after she came over to see my twins. I said people ask the most stupid questions sometimes, like, "are they identical?" She laughed a little then in all seriousness asked, "well, are they identical?"
3. A teacher, whom my mother works with, asked if they are identical and my mother replied with, "No. They are a boy and a girl. How could they be identical?" The teacher was confused and said she thought it had something to do with their facial features looking similar.

I shake my head and roll my eyes so many times it hurts. Come on people. Smarten up!

12 Reasons Why Motherhood Made Me A Gross Person

Yes, I am a mother. A mother of three beautiful children. My oldest girl is three years old, and I have (almost) five month old boy/girl twins. Being their mommy has made me a really gross person. I mean, really. I hope not to be alone in this grossness of mothering because if it's just me, then I probably should get help.

12 Reasons Why Motherhood Has Made Me A Gross Person

1. While pregnant, I threw up in my bathroom trash can while sitting on the toilet at least twice a day and when I was finished I would eat a hot dog because that seemed to help.
2. I pee myself. Yup. I admit it. I sometimes pee my pants. This occurred while pregnant and after. It can't be helped unfortunately. While pregnant, especially with my twins, the pressure on my bladder was immense. After pushing all three babies out of my you-know-what, well, that should be obvious, I now have weak pelvic muscles. I sneeze and sometimes a little comes out. 
3. I pick other human being's noses. And ears. And that stuff I like to call "punks" in between fingers and toes. And belly button fuzz. And eye boogies. And I'm not the least bit grossed out by it.
4. I put feet in my mouth. Baby feet, of course, but still feet.
5. I smell butts. On purpose. I'm smelling for poo, or a lot of pee.
6. I get poo on my fingers, hands, and sometimes clothes at least once a day and I'm OK with it.
7. If my husband changes a poop diaper, I ask him what it looked like. I am genuinely curious about the state of my little one's poo (hard or soft and what color it was).
8. I say, "Hooray!" for poopoo and peepee. Potty training in full effect, yo!
9. I sometimes don't shower for a couple of days. Who has time for showers when you have a toddler and baby twins hanging on you 24/7? If I am lucky enough to take a shower, it's a madd rush to get it done in under 5 minutes. It's a race to see who will do something first: babies crying, toddler getting into something she's not supposed to, or me, finishing my shower. 
10. I pick spilled food off the floor, blow on it and put it back on my toddler's plate. Hey, don't judge me on this one. After she spills her food for the fifteenth time, I can only throw out so much before she doesn't have anything to eat. I just think of it as an immunity booster. Plus, my floor isn't that dirty. I do sweep, mop, and vacuum. 
11. I get spit up on, wipe it up and remain in spit up stained and smelly clothes. Hey, it'll just happen again so why bother making more dirty laundry.
12. My toddler lovingly farts on me and laughs. I laugh with her.

Ask me if I'm embarrassed by any of these things and my answer will be, "Not really." Why? Because that's how gross motherhood is, that's why!

Just Like Her Mommy

My daughter, Lily, is 3 years old and is so very sarcastic, witty, and funny. Of course she drives us crazy at times, what 3 year old wouldn't? But some of the things she comes up with are just amazing and she has such a wonderful imagination. Here's a few examples:

1. It was bedtime, I forget when. I'll say about 6 months ago. Anyway, Lily said she couldn't sleep because she was scared of the monster in her bedroom. I told her she should introduce herself to the monster. Maybe he is scared of her. Well, needless to say, "Roar" has been her friend ever since. She plays with him and they hold hands. It's kinda creepy the way she "looks" at him as if there really is someone there. She refers to him as "My Friend Roar" and he goes almost everywhere with her. Oh, and we just watched the movie Iron Giant and now she has a robot friend, too.
2. Lily closes her door for bedtime. She stands there for a second then starts rubbing the door. She hugs it, as best as you can hug something you can't put your arms around. Then she whispers, "I love you door" and gives it a kiss.

As a young child, I too cared for inanimate objects. I thought everything had feelings. Everything. I slept with a chair because I thought it had feelings and I didn't want it to feel left out while all of my stuffed animals and dolls were on my bed. Yes, I was that weird! I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Me, circa 1981 (about the same age or just a tad bit older than Lily) with my favorite chair

Why ruin the evening, Mother?

Oh look, Mom is yelling. Of course Dad and son are thinking that Mom is always yelling for some reason or another. Better get Mom some New Ivory Soap for her "nerves." Yea, that'll help! Taking a bath is the sure fire way to relax and forget about all the bullshit you have to put up with day in and day out. It's also the best way to be the perfect wife and mother who will just laugh at the mess the kid left after running through the house with mud on his feet after having just washed the floors. It's also the best way to shrug off the fact that hubby tells you he just wants to relax and eat dinner after a hard day at work when he can clearly see that you have had a rough day yourself. No, "Thanks for making my favorite dinner, Mom." No, "Gee Honey, the house is spotless, you've done a good job." But don't let your feelings get the best of you, Mom. Don't let anyone know how hard it is for you to do what you do all day. God forbid they see you a little stressed out. No. Just get that bar of soap, take that bath, because as all of us SAHM's and housewives know, there is always enough time in our day to unwind in a nice warm tub.