Blatz Beer Ad

I didn't realize all I needed was a case of Blatz Beer in the house. Geez, it means so much to me as a young mother who is so tired of listening to my baby cry. I need that case of beer to act as a stimulating tonic and don't get me started on how healthy it is for me and my baby. Isn't it so obvious by the dazed look on my baby's face that he is enjoying it, too? I mean, really. Drinking beer at 3 month of age is nothing. He certainly won't grow up to be an alcoholic. This is Blatz Beer for goodness sake!

Men are better than women!

Men,
We women do not care about the ugly-ass sweater you bought just to show off to us. We have better things to be excited about, like you thinking we are useful and even pleasant inside the house. Gee, it makes us beam just to know you won't be hauling us up a cliff when we secretly want to hurl you off of one. Because, let's face it, women are such a drag on a mountain. So you go ahead and show off that warm, hand fashioned sweater you bought for yourself. Show it off to your mountain buddy because isn't he the one you want to look good in front of anyway? On the level!

You mean a woman can open it?

Yay! I can finally open a ketchup bottle without the help of my strong and capable man. How did us women get so lucky? You are the best, Del Monte. Thank you so much for making it so easy to open your bottles. I know I am just a weak woman, but you give me the security of standing on my own whenever I need to put ketchup on something. I bet I won't even break a fingernail. Go, me!

Why ruin the evening, Mother?

Oh look, Mom is yelling. Of course Dad and son are thinking that Mom is always yelling for some reason or another. Better get Mom some New Ivory Soap for her "nerves." Yea, that'll help! Taking a bath is the sure fire way to relax and forget about all the bullshit you have to put up with day in and day out. It's also the best way to be the perfect wife and mother who will just laugh at the mess the kid left after running through the house with mud on his feet after having just washed the floors. It's also the best way to shrug off the fact that hubby tells you he just wants to relax and eat dinner after a hard day at work when he can clearly see that you have had a rough day yourself. No, "Thanks for making my favorite dinner, Mom." No, "Gee Honey, the house is spotless, you've done a good job." But don't let your feelings get the best of you, Mom. Don't let anyone know how hard it is for you to do what you do all day. God forbid they see you a little stressed out. No. Just get that bar of soap, take that bath, because as all of us SAHM's and housewives know, there is always enough time in our day to unwind in a nice warm tub.

Does your husband yawn at the table?

Yipee!! Most husbands have stopped beating their wives! Good for them. But wait…now they have to endure agonizingly boring meals? That's just crazy! Husbands would much rather prefer dull conversations with their wives than a boring meal. Spice it up with Heinz! Do it now, lady, before your husband starts beating you again!