A Look Back 7/17 - 7/23

Friday, 7/17:

• Dan and I went to a wedding and since we got dressed up I wanted a picture taken. Of course, our wonderfully cute and funny three and a half year old had to get in on it. She put on a pair of my shoes to look pretty and followed us out the door. For some reason, I can't remember, she wasn't wearing anything but her underwear. Hmm?
• The wedding reception was good. They had a live band, which I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with one. They were really good. I had been feeling slightly sick - a little soar throat and dry cough, but I didn't want it to ruin my good time. Unfortunately, I had one beer and got a headache and something I can only describe as heartburn, even though it wasn't quite heartburn. But I still tried my best to smile and dance a few times. Well, the highlight of the evening was when the head guy in the band kept eyeing me and kept signaling me to hit the dance floor. At one point he came over to me as I was eating salad and said, "Are you seriously eating your salad one leaf at a time?" Uh, no. Two leaves at a time! Anyway, at the end of the night the band had a lot of people gathered on the dance floor. Dan and I were there, too. The main guy started to do a back and forth singing thing with the crowd. I had a feeling that I should've been really vocalizing because he kept looking my way, but I had that soar throat thing going on. Well, he stopped, told the crowd to wait a minute 'cause he's been eyeing this couple all night, and then he came over to us. Ah! Now I'm in the spotlight. Exactly where I don't like to be. He actually told everybody that I was eating my salad one leaf at a time. Fortunately (or unfortunately), our friend, Kevin, caught most of it on video...

• Dan and I get home from the wedding around 2:00am and my mother, who had been babysitting, was up with our twins. They were wide awake. Never have they been up in the middle of the night for more than a second while we put their pacifiers back in their mouths. Luckily, they fell right to sleep when we put them down.

Saturday, 7/18:

• So, our twins had a repeat of waking up in the middle of the night. What the hell? We leave for one night and now chaos has ensued. Hopefully it doesn't become a habit.
• Yup, my slight sickness has now become something more. I actually was falling asleep on the couch in the afternoon - something I do not do unless I am really sick. This is so stupid, too because I just ended a ten day round of antibiotics for strep not four days ago.
• Was playing in Lily's room. She took down a doll from her bookshelf and handed it to me. She wanted to brush it's hair so she went to get a brush. As I was waiting for her, I shook the dolls hair and I saw something big and black jump out and go across my chest. I freaked, not knowing what it was and fearing the worst now that I had no clue where it went. I stood up and shook my, can I say dress, even though I was still in my nightgown at three o'clock in the afternoon? Anyway, I shook my... dress, and out came a big, black spider falling to the floor. I let out a scream then smashed it with one of Lily's toys. Luckily I got it 'cause I would not have been able to stay in the room any longer if I hadn't. Ugh! Heebeejeebees!!
• Walked in the bedroom to find Piper asleep like this...

• Lily looked very pretty in her dress...

• At bath time, Lily got a beard like her Uncle K.C. ...

Sunday, 7/19:

• Cleaning day. Still didn't feel well, but better than I had felt. Decided to clean the floors and do three loads of laundry. All in all a fun Sunday (sarcasm, people).

Monday, 7/20:

• Play date for Lily at our house. It must have been the hottest day of the summer so far. Brutal! I had set up our small kiddie pool and our water pad spray mat thing (don't know what it's called). Great to cool off the kids but for me and my mommy friend, the heat just did us in. I suggested playing inside and with little coaxing, the kids agreed.
• In the late afternoon, it started raining. It felt great. Since Killian and Piper were taking a nap, Lily and I walked around outside letting the rain cool us off. A fun time until I heard thunder. Where there's thunder, there's lightning, so in we went.

Tuesday, 7/21:

• Woke up early in the morning to the sound of Killian whimpering. He whimpers in his sleep all the time. I waited about a minute or two to see if he would calm down on his own. He seemed to stop and I looked over at Dan's side of the bed not knowing what time it was. I saw something moving and squinted to see what it was. I saw a baby's hand in the air with fingers moving around. I then saw an adult hand playing with the baby hand. I thought Dan must have gotten up and took Killian in bed with us. Then I heard the whimpering again coming from the crib. Now I thought maybe it was Piper in bed and Killian was still in his crib. I got up and saw Piper still sleeping in her crib and Killian still in his. I was very confused and when I looked over to see what Dan was doing, he wasn't there. His side of the bed was empty and he had already left for work about a half hour before. FREAKY!!!!

Wednesday, 7/22:

• Lily had a peepee accident...

Lily: "Lily peepeed. Sorry, Mommy."

Me: "It's OK, Lily. Just be more careful next time. You know when you have to go, right?"

Lily: "Yes, Mommy. Lily sorry. You still love me?"

Me: Heart aching - "Yes, Lily. Always. I love you so much. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you, no matter what."

Lily: "OK, Mommy. Lily love you. You're the best." 

• Piper fell asleep in her highchair after breakfast...

• while Killian cried...

A Cavity?

Lily eating yogurt

Lily actually likes brushing her teeth. She doesn't eat too many sweets. She loves drinking water and only has a small juice box once a day at dinnertime. She would rather eat vegetables than anything else, so why? Why does my little three year old girl have a cavity?

My heart sank deep into my chest as the dentist confirmed what I already guessed. The very small black dot on Lily's back, left molar is in fact, a cavity. "How does a three year old get a cavity?" I asked the dentist as she was finishing up her exam. "Lack of brushing or not brushing good enough. Mom, you really need to help her when she brushes. Do you?"

I felt like I failed in some way, or at least, that's how she made me feel. Fact is, I do help Lily brush her teeth. I help her every morning and every night. Lily brushes, then I brush. I also pay close attention to that back, left molar because six months ago, the dentist mentioned they were keeping an eye on it. So have I failed as a parent? As a mother?

I made the appointment for Lily's filling and got out of the office as quickly as I could. I was a little embarrassed, truth be told. I felt like I was being judged. In my head, all I could think was, "I actually do brush Lily's teeth with her twice a day. I know some parents who have such a hard time getting their kids to brush even just once a day. Why is Lily the one who gets the cavity?" When I got home I did some research on cavities in toddlers. I found out that I wasn't the only parent questioning why this occurs.

I found out that dentists will blame the parent. They blame lack of brushing. They blame not flossing. That definitely is part of it, but there could be another reason why a three year old can get a cavity - family history. Read this article: The Surprising Truth About Cavities posted on parents.com.

So I'm not a failure. Sure, I could floss more with her, but really? She's three. I'm lucky I get a chance to actually brush her teeth since she loves brushing them all by herself like a big girl. She likes to floss, but when I say it's my turn, she has a fit. "Lily big girl! Lily do it! Not Mommy! Lily!" Yes... all exclamation points!

So we go back next month to get the cavity filled. Now I have to make the choice of having them attempt to fill it with or without nitrous oxide. Things I wish I didn't have to worry about. As a parent, I can only assume there will be so many things I will be worrying about and this is just one grain of salt from the bottle of life.

A Look Back 6/19 - 6/25

• Saturday, 6/20: Lily and I were looking at a picture of me when I was pregnant with Killian and Piper...

Lily- "When Lily big girl, me have Piper in my belly."

Me- "Well, you can have your own baby inside your belly."

Lily- "NO! ME HAVE PIPER IN MY BELLY!!"

Me- "OK. Calm down."

Lily- "Can Lily have Piper and killian in my belly?"

Me- "Sure, Lily. You can maybe have twins, too."

• Sunday, 6/21: Father's Day. It was a lovely day that consisted of breakfast in the morning, just the five of us. Lily gave Daddy her gift... Matching Mickey Mouse shirts. 
  

Then I took a pic of all of them...

Then I got the best father's Day gift of all... yeah, you heard that right. Dan took the kids to his parent's house and I got to spend some much needed alone time to get a few things done. After I danced and sang my heart out to a very loud mix of my favorite 90's girl bands, I cleaned a bit. It was a good time!

• Monday, 6/22: Lily is too funny...

Lily- "Piper is a brother."

Me- "No. Piper is a sister. Killian is a brother." 

Lily- "Killian is a son and Daddy is a son."

Me- "That's right! And what are you?"

Lily- "Lily a moon."

•  Also Monday, 6/22: This happened-

• Killian got his 2nd tooth this week. Now he has both bottom fronts. Piper already has four teeth. Is it wrong for me to tell Killian he's losing to his sister in the milestone department. Maybe I should stop that since, 1: it really isn't a competition. And 2: I really don't want them to feel like everything is a competition with the other.

Co-sleeping: A Love/Hate Relationship

My husband and I have, on and off, been co-sleeping with our three year old daughter for all of her life.  She was and is a great sleeper, but sometimes she just wanted or needed to be close to us while she slept. It was never an every night thing until I got pregnant with our twins. Now, she goes down in her room about eight o'clock and wakes up around midnight to come into bed with me and her daddy. I thought it might stop after the twins arrived, thinking it was because she was concerned about me or maybe feeling like she needed a little more attention, but it didn't.

I love the fact that my daughter loves me so much she wants to cuddle with me all night. That she wants to have her head on my shoulder, chest, or stomach while she sleeps. I love it, but I can't stand it at the same time. I am constantly smothered while I try to sleep. She moves around so much I inevitably end up almost falling off the bed. Don't even get me started on the covers. She likes to sleep above the covers, which would be fine, but she decides to kick and jerk her whole body out from under them the moment I am almost asleep. Then I have to quickly grab the covers that are over me so they don't get pulled off and pinned down by her legs.

I curse a bit in my head at this point. Why do I keep letting her into our bed? Why do I put up with the smothering? I got head butted in the nose the other night, so hard I thought my nose was broken. Why don't I just put my foot down and be stern about staying in her own bed? Why? Because as much as I hate it when I'm in that moment, I love it even more. She is my rainbow baby. My first born. She is almost three and a half. I'm going to blink and another three years will pass, then another. How many more years do I have where she loves me so much she wants to be that close to me? How many more years do I have where she whispers, "I love you, Mommy. I love you so much" in my ear right before we fall asleep?

One day, she will turn on me. She will say that she hates me. She will not want me to hold her anymore because she will think she is too big for that. She will no longer want to hold my hand while we fall asleep. She will no longer need me like that and it makes me sad. I hope I can keep our mother/daughter relationship close and loving. I will always tell her everyday that I love her and I hope that she will always tell me. I am hopeful, but I know how I was with my mom. I hear stories of other mothers and daughters. The majority of tweens and teens turn on their mothers. I really don't want that for me and any of my children. So I will continue to co-sleep for as long as she wants. Because it makes her feel safe. Because it makes her feel loved. Because it makes her feel comforted. Because it makes me feel needed. Because it makes me feel loved. Because it makes me still have my baby girl.

A Look Back 6/12 - 6/18

• Killian and Piper turned 8 months old on Saturday, 6/13. 
• Took some great shots of the kids...

• Visited the Nassau County Museum of Art on Sunday, 6/14, where Dan and I were married back in September of 2009. After giving Killian and Piper lunch, we packed everybody in the van, picked up lunch for Dan, myself, and Lily, and headed to the museum to have lunch in the formal gardens at the very spot we said our I do's. Lily kept asking where the "real" park was and when we were going there. We told her that not all parks have slides and swings, but being three years old, she just didn't get it.

• On Tuesday, 6/16, it rained on and off. I let Lily put her bathing suit on and we went outside to feel the rain on us. It wasn't thundering or lightning out, so why not? It's natures sprinkler! Anyway, I decided to do some weeding in the rain. I should always do the weeding in the rain. It felt nice not having the hot sun beating down on me while working outside and the added bonus of the cool raindrops made it even better.
• Wednesday, 6/17, was Lily very last day of an early educational school we've been going to since she was 8 months old. We started out doing Mommy and Me classes then I started dropping Lily off there for a two hour session each week for the past year and a half or so. It's a bittersweet ending to this stage in her life. Come September, she will start pre-K and I will no longer be able to call Lily a toddler, she will be a pre-schooler. 

                         
                                                      Ms. Rhona                                                                           Ms. Denise

• On Thursday, 6/18, Lily said the strangest thing to me. It was one of those "kids say the darndest things" moments, but I thought about it too much and now I'm feeling weird, like she knows something I don't. Here's how it went down: We were going through a picture book of 100 first words and Lily was naming everything in the book. Something I was very proud of because of her speech issues she had last year. Anyway, there was a parrot in the book and she said she wanted one. Then I said I like birds and maybe one day we could get one. Then she looked over at a toy parrot she has and said...

"Mommy, Lily already has a parrot."

"OK, Lily. Maybe we can get a real one someday."

"Mommy, when you are a little girl again, like me, you can have one." 

Hmm? A little girl again? So, does she think we get reincarnated? Maybe she thinks I'm like Benjamin Button? Or, most likely, she's three years old and has no clue what she just said! 

I Love You, Mommy

So simple, those four words. So simple and yet so powerful in their meaning. "I love you, Mommy." Out of nowhere I hear those four words. Out of nowhere I hear a sweet little voice whisper them to me and I think for a moment, what does "I love you" mean to a three year old?

Even before Lily was born I loved her. From the moment she was conceived at my fertility doctor's office, with my husband standing next to me with the highest of hopes, I loved her. Our Rainbow Baby. I told her every day, throughout the day while rubbing my belly. When she was born, I whispered it in her ear as I held her close, "I love you, Lily."

1/14/2012 - Lily's Birth Day

I know what those words mean to me. They mean that I will always and forever be on her side. Her needs will always come before mine. She will never be without a piece of my heart and so she will always feel my love even when I am no longer here (which goes for all three of my babies). But, I wonder... what do those words mean to a three year old? Does she really know what love is? Does she say those words because I so often say them to her? No. I believe she knows. I believe she gets it now just like she gets what being sorry is. She knows that I am her mommy and I will always protect her and be here for her and for that, she loves me.

3/1/2015 - Selfie fun

Out of nowhere I hear a sweet little voice whisper, "I love you, Mommy" and in that moment I feel alive.

Lily Didn't Do It

Nope. Lily didn't do it. She didn't write on her table. My three year old is very clear that her friends Roar and Robot did it!

I love her imagination. Her imaginary friend, Roar, is the monster from her room that used to scare her until I told her to introduce herself to him. Now they are besties! Her friend Robot came along after we watched the movie The Iron Giant. Then, of course, she has to make her other friends help clean up. These would include the Fisher Price Corn Popper and the Fisher Price Little People City Skyway.

So, yes, this video is primarily about Lily, but I can't help but notice all that unfolded laundry. I think there's three baskets full. Yes, all clean. This is like an everyday event around here. There is always at least one basket of laundry hanging around needing to be folded and put away. Hey, there are five of us, or more accurately, one three year old and two six month olds who go through clothes and bibs and burp cloths and blankets like it's the coolest thing to constantly be doing laundry. Well, it is the coolest thing, isn't it? Please tell me it's cool.

Sibling Fun

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when I heard Lily call me to come see her. Uh oh. What was she doing this time? Then, as I came out of the kitchen, I saw this...

I love that Lily wants to play with her 6 month old brother and sister, but did I love the fact that she somehow climbed into the pack n play to do so? Uh... maybe not so much. I didn't here any screams of pain or crying, so I guess she made it in there without stepping or falling on one or both of them. That's a plus!

You Know You're A Parent of "3 under 4" When...

1. ... you hate laundry day because everyday is laundry day.
2. your 3 year old wants to march to the kitchen, bathroom, around the dining room table, or just about anywhere and you get tired after the first few steps.
3. ... before you feed the twins, you change one of their diapers and think "I can wait to change the other one's diaper until after they eat." Or you don't change both of their diapers until after they eat because, well, you'll just have to change them both again right after they eat anyway.
4. ... getting out of bed anytime in the night with twins is dreaded because you know as soon as you take care of one baby, you'll get all cozy in bed again and the other one will wake up.
5. ... you secretly jump for joy when someone, anyone, calls you up to take even just one child off your hands for a few hours - even if it's just to come over to play in his/her room.
6. ... it takes you two hours to get everyone ready and in their car seats to go out somewhere.
7. ... you have given up trying hard for your 3 year old not to put her snotty, coughy, grimy hands all over your 6 month old twins' faces. It's better for everyone to be sick at the same time anyway, right?
8. ... you realize you're sorta an expert when it comes to multitasking and laugh at parents of one who complain about not being able to get stuff done.
9. ... you fantasize about running away to a remote island or your car for a few hours.
10. ... you have all three kids hanging on you and you think, "I have an amazing life" then someone spits up all over your shirt.
11. ... someone spits up all over your shirt and you smile because you know you'll be doing another load of laundry that day anyway.

My Twins Are 6 Months Old

My twin babies are six months old. This time has gone by in a blink of one eye and even though I am sad that I will never again have a baby that fits the length of my torso, I am happy that they are growing healthy and strong.

At their six month checkup Monday (the 13th), Killian and Piper were weighed and measured. Here are their stats...

Killian: 21 pounds, 8 ounces, 27.5 inches
Wow. Killian more than tripled his 6 pounds, .05 ounce birth weight. He is in the 97.4 percentile with both height and weight for a six month old.

Piper: 18 pound, 1 ounce, 27 inches

Piper just almost tripled her 6 pound, 2.2 ounce birth weight. She is in the 67.9 percentile.

Toddlers and Markers

OK, cute. Right? Also funny, but being the parent of a child who does this, you gotta be very careful how you react. When my three year old came into my bedroom Sunday morning with a huge smile on her face screaming excitedly, "Mommy! Lily O K.C.! Lily O K.C.!" I should not have laughed. Not out loud, at least. But I did. It was funny. She was funny.

Let's take this back a bit so you understand where my daughter came up with the idea to "tattoo" herself. My big brother, my only brother, has a ton of tattoos. Here's a picture so you can kinda get the idea:

This was Lily and my brother when she was two and a half months old, so she's seen tattoos her whole life. Nothing out of the ordinary for her. My brother, her uncle (or "O" as Lily puts it) also has a beard. Again, nothing out of the ordinary for her. Every time Lily sees a guy with a beard or sees tattoos, she immediately associates it with her "O K.C."

So, that was the back story. Flash forward to this past Sunday and now you know why she drew on herself. She wanted to be like her O K.C. and have tattoos. I have no idea why she was thinking about that and what prompted her to pick up the marker, but she did and it was very funny. I always see or hear stories about children who do this type of thing but never imagined my daughter would do it. I, myself, had once drawn on my body with a kid's blue eyeshadow "crayon." Long story short, I fell asleep and because I was a very heavy sleeper, my aunt and parents thought I was unconscious, turning blue because I was dying and rushed me to the hospital. I didn't wake up until after the nurse called over the speaker, "Code Blue!" and the doctor realized what was really going on. Good times. I wonder if my parents laughed about that one when we all got home from the hospital?

Anyway, let me say again how I should not have laughed out loud... This picture was from yesterday (Monday).

Great. Now she gave herself a beard. Still proclaiming she's O K.C. and very proud of herself. Remind me to hide the markers! At least we only buy washable markers, crayons, and paint for her so cleanup wasn't that bad. I also should be relieved that her artistic abilities of making herself look oh so fantastic, didn't spill over to her baby brother and sister who were sitting by her, most likely watching her do this to herself. So, thanks Lily? I guess?

Why I Know It's OK To Cry At Any Milestone

It's a sad day indeed. My three year old said "Killian." Well, she really said "Killilan" but close enough. Killian is her baby brother. I should be happy that she said his name. She's been able to say her sister's name, Piper, for a while now, so why is it making me sad for her to say her brother's?

To answer this question we must go back a year. January 2014 to be exact. January of 2014, around the time of her second birthday, Lily was only saying one coherent word, "Daddy." She then had her own language for everything else, including her own version of sign language. Point was, she needed speech therapy. We went through all the channels to get her an in-home therapist twice a week. Within six months, Lily was putting words together and you could sorta follow what she was saying. Then, by her third birthday this past January, she was done with speech and talking up a storm. There are still some words that she just can't say, but she's three and it just makes her sound so darn cute.

Anyway, one of these words was her brother's name, Killian. She could never pronounce it and her version of his name was "Titi." Don't ask me how she got Titi from Killian, but she did and I liked it. It would be what she called him, forever. Her own nickname for him. Unfortunately, it would come to an end. Out of the blue, a couple of days ago, she pointed at her brother and said, "Killilan." I was very proud of her for saying his name correctly. It didn't quite hit me though until she started saying it all the time. I asked her if she will still call him Titi and she responded with, "No Mommy. He Killilan." I teared up. I wanted to full on cry, but then I thought that was silly of me, plus my husband was home from work and I didn't really want to explain why I was crying in fear I would cry even harder.

My little girl is growing up. She's accomplished so much with her speech, but it hasn't really sunk in to what that really means until she said that one word, "Killilan." Lily is not my baby anymore. She's my toddler going on pre-schooler. She's picking out her own clothes to wear everyday and making other choices like what to eat and what color she likes - white. She's slowly becoming her own little person and it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. I can only imagine that other moms and dads feel the same when their children reach a certain age or hit a certain milestone. It makes me wonder about my own parents and what was it that I did or said that made them think I wasn't their baby anymore? For that matter, what was it that my older brother did and my two younger sisters did to make them think that? Did it make them as happy and as sad as it's making me feel?

I don't even want to think about when my twins get to that point 'cause that will be it for me - no more babies. That part of my life will be over. I think that makes me feel the saddest. That's why I know it's OK that I cried over that one little word. That's why I know it's OK to cry at any milestone. My babies can't stay babies forever, except, maybe in my heart.

Dear Children,

This is your mother. You know, the one who sacrificed a lot to carry you inside of my womb? The one who painstakingly pushed you out into this world? You know me as Mommy? Anyway, I am writing to you today to let you know of a few fun facts about life right now. This is not to make you feel in any way, guilty or embarrassed. You should feel loved knowing that I am taking the time to write about you three and how you all make me feel. You should also feel honored that my love for you is now out there in cyberland for all to view. You are famous to those ten or so people who actually read my blog. Congratulations!

1. Please know that I love all three of you so deeply that it can make me cry at any point.
2. Lily, you are our first born, our rainbow baby, and continue to be our light after any dark storm. You alway want us to be happy and ever since you came into our lives, we truly are.
3. Killian, you are my little mushmallow, my cuddle monkey, and are just a sweet, little baby boy who can melt my heart with just a glance.
4. Piper, you are our last born, the baby of the family. You are always so happy with the most amazing blue eyes that shine as bright as sapphires. Your smile is intoxicating. 
5. I'm not too fond of your potty training or lack there of, Lily. I guess I have myself to blame, for the most part, but come on! You know when you have to go. You've kept yourself dry, always using the potty, for a whole week and then for a day here and there. Just do it all the time now. Contrary to what you may think, I do not like wiping your poopy butt.
6. Piper, it's not very nice to laugh at your twin brother when he cries. That goes for you too, Killian. Just stop laughing at each other when the other is having a hard time. It's not to say I don't find it a little funny, 'cause I do, but it's gotta stop.
7. Lily, farting on me and then saying, "Lily farted on Mommy" and laughing is kinda gross, not to mention rude. Please outgrow that soon.
8. Killian and Piper, I do have to say that I appreciate you not screaming your heads off when you have a dirty, poopy diaper, but a little heads up would be nice. I don't really like thinking that you have a clean diaper and then smelling, what I can only describe as toxic garbage, from across the room. Oh, and thank you for pooing at the same time almost always. The smell is doubled which makes me think that's where the term, "double trouble" came from.
9. Lily, can you please stop thinking that bedtime is nap time? You are three years old. You should be able to sleep through the night. And news flash: you used to sleep through the night before Killian and Piper came home. Just because you're a Big Sister now, doesn't mean that you should start acting like the baby. Killian and Piper will be six months old next week and they've been sleeping through the night for about four months now. I'm not telling you to be more like them, but please, be more like them and sleep through the night.
10. Killian, please stop spitting up three hours after you ate. It doesn't make sense and it's kinda annoying. I don't want you to have to constantly wear a bib, but if you're gonna be "Mr. Spit-up" then so be it.
11. Piper, I like that you are trying to sit up all on your own, but please know that you don't have to constantly try to do it. I mean, it's OK to relax every once in a while. Especially at feeding time or when you are already sitting up. Stop pushing your head forward and clenching your fists to your chest. We get it. You want to be a big girl, but it's really not a race here. Slow down.

There's a lot more I can discuss with you three, but I'll save some for later. Just please always remember that Mommy loves you, Lily, Killian, and Piper. Mommy loves you more than the beating of my own heart. 

I'll finish this post with a quote from Led Zeppelin's Thank You:

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

And The Samples' Nothing Lasts For Long:

Maybe nothing lasts for ever
Not the mountains or the sea
But the times we have together
They will always be with me

Love with all that I am and all I ever will be,

Mommy

Twins - Who's the Boss?

 "Hey, Killian, c'mon. Look at me."

 "Seriously, Killian. Look at me!"

 "I don't care if you're a whole 6 minutes older than me. I am the boss!"

"Mom! Piper's scaring me! Tell her to let me go."

Twins After A Singleton

When we found out I was carrying twins, my first thought was, "We need a minivan." My second thought was "How am I going to split up my heart to love all three of my children equally?" When you have one child, all of your love is meant for that one child. My husband goes to work everyday and I'm a stay at home mom so my days were filled with quality alone time with my daughter. It was just me and her throughout the day and I loved it. We had our morning routine, our afternoon routine, and once my husband came home, a night routine for the three of us. So when we found out there would not only be one baby breaking up the routine, but two, I was a little more than nervous about it.

How was my daughter going to react when it wasn't just her and me anymore? Having twins would take up a lot more of my time than if it was just one. How was I going to manage it? How was I going to love these two new babies as much as I love my daughter? Would I be able to still have quality alone time with my daughter and quality alone time with the two other babies?

I was scared. Scared until our twins came home from the NICU. Our beautiful, sweet, and caring toddler was all about the babies. She was and is like a little mommy. She's nurturing and loving towards them. It's an amazing thing to see. I think about some stories I've heard about older siblings reacting badly towards the new baby and we've definitely lucked out with not having to worry about that. She is the Big Sister and loving every second of it.

Funny thing is that my heart did get split up equally for all three of my children. I don't know how, but it did. All the worrying should've been geared towards another concern. A concern that I had no clue about until our twins were home with us. "Am I spending enough time with our twins?"

Yes, I spend everyday, all day with our twins, but our bonding time is somewhat limited. They share my attention with not only each other, but with a three year old who still remembers what it was like before they got here. A time when she had all of my attention. It's so difficult to just sit and hold my twins individually for a period of time before I have to pay attention to the other one or my toddler. I used to hold my toddler for hours. Just staring at her, caressing her face, memorizing every little fold in her chubby little arms and legs. Studying the curve of her mouth and just breathing her sweet baby scent in. I'm lucky if I get five minutes to do that with my twins. My three year old is a three year old. She wants to play all the time and wants all the attention on her. It's hard when I tell her I can't play because I have to not only take the time to feed one baby, but two. Then it's time to change, not one diaper, but two. Then it's time to calm down, not one baby, but two. Put, not one baby down for a nap, but two. Check in on, not one baby, but two. And so on, and so on, and so on. What might take a half hour with a singleton is now taking an hour or more with twins. That is my biggest concern now. How does this affect my toddler? The constant, "No, I'm sorry. I can't right now I have to ___ with the babies."

Luckily, my three year old is patient (as patient as a three year old can be). She will wait for me to be done with the babies, for now, but will her patience run thin? I just feel guilty sometimes. Guilty for always having to say to my toddler, "One more second." and "I'll be right there after I ____ with the babies." Guilty for not being able to hold my twins for hours like I did when my toddler was their age. Guilty for feeling guilty. I'm sure most moms go through this, especially moms of twins after a singleton. I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves that we are doing the best we can with what we were given - one body, two arms, two hands, and only twenty-four hours in the day.

Theme Song Sing-A-Long

Here, in no particular order, are the theme songs from some of my three year old's favorite shows. When we hear these songs, we both get up, dance around the living room, and sing as loud as we can. It's a lot of fun and it's something that has become a Mommy/Daughter activity. I love it and I know she does, too. It's also so super cute when she starts singing the songs when the shows aren't even on.

1. Doc McStuffins Theme song - Disney Junior

Time for your check-up, time for your check-up.
Gonna check your ears, check your eyes, find out how much you've grown.
Listen to your heartbeat, fix you up, ready to go.
It's OK if you giggle, this will only tickle a little.
Time for your check up, time for your check-up.

2. Curious George Theme Song - PBS

You never do know what's around the bend
A big adventure or a brand new friend
When you're curious, like Curious George
(Swing!)

Well everything (everything!) is so glorious (glorious!) And everything (everything!) is so wonderous (wonderous!) There's more to explore
When you open your door
And meet friends like this
You just can't miss
(Whooooa!)

Get curious (curious!) and that's marvelous (marvelous!) And that's your reward
You'll never be bored
If you ask yourself, what is this?
Like curious, like curious, like Curious George

3. Max & Ruby Theme Song - Nick Jr.

Max & Ruby
Ruby & Max

Max & Ruby

Ruby & Max

Max & Ruby

Ruby & her little brother Max

Max & Ruby

4. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Theme Song - Disney Junior

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey: It's me!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Come inside, it's fun inside
It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse roll call!
Donald! Donald: Present.
Daisy! Daisy: Here.
Goofy! Goofy: Hyuck, here.
Minnie! Minnie: Hi, here!
Pluto! Pluto: Ruff ruff ruff
Mickey! Mickey: Right here.
It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Come inside, it's fun inside
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

5. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Closing Song - Disney Junior

Hot dog! (Hot dog) Hot dog!
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog Now we got ears, it's time for cheers
Hot dog, hot dog, the problem's solved Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
Grab my boots and a sandwich Let's start a parade Get the coconut drum kit For Daisy to play
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog We're taking off, we're dancing now Hot dog, leapfrog, and holy cow Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog It's a brand new day Whatcha waiting for? Get up, stretch out, stomp on the floor
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog We're splitting the scene We're full of beans
So long for now from Mickey Mouse (That's me!) And the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

6. Super Why! Theme Song - PBS

Who’s got the power?
The power to read.
Who answers the call for friends in need?

Super WHY!
Super WHY!
He’s the guy, he’s Super WHY!

Who’s got the power?
The power to read.
Who looks into books for the answers we need?

Super WHY!
Super WHY!
and the Super Readers, we’re gonna fly,

Come along
With the Super Readers.
Adventure waits when you’re with Super WHY!

Super WHY and the Super Readers yeah
Super WHY and the Super Readers.

Adventure waits when you’re with Super WHY!
Yeah Super WHY!

7. Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood Theme Song - PBS

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine, could you be mine, would you be my neighbor.
Its Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood a land of make believe, won’t you ride along with me (ride along..)
Its Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood so much to do so much to see, won’t you ride along with me (ride along..)
I got lots of friends for you and me, in this land of make believe, a friendly face on every street just waiting to greet you.
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, Daniel tiger’s Neighborhood!

8. Sophia the First Theme Song - Disney Junior

I was a girl in the village doing alright
Then I became a princess overnight
Now I gotta figure out how to do it right
So much to learn and see

Up in the castle with my new family
In a school that's just for royalty
A whole enchanted world is waiting for me
I'm so excited to be (Sofia the first)

I'm finding out what being royal's all about (Sofia the first)
Making my way it's an adventure everyday (Sofia)
It's gonna be my time (Sofia)
To show them all that I'm Sofia the first!

A Visit With the Easter Bunny

It was a typical Sunday. 7 am wake up call from my three year old leaning in close to my face and breathing heavily on me, laughing. My five month old twins making noises in their cribs while kicking their tiny legs a mile a minute. My husband covering his head with the blankets in hopes to not having to get out of bed any time soon. Yes, a typical Sunday morning except this particular Sunday was going to be a little different, we were going to be leaving the house.

Leaving the house is not a big deal. Not a big deal if you don't have kids. Not a big deal if you don't have a toddler and five month old twins to get ready. On this day, this sunny, mild March day, my husband and I decided we would all go to the mall to get a picture with the Easter Bunny. We do it every year since our daughter was born. The Easter Bunny and Santa pictures at the mall. This would be the first picture with the Easter Bunny for our twins. How exciting, but was it worth it? (of course it was!)

We planned on leaving the house around three o'clock. This meant I had to start getting my toddler dressed and hair brushed at twelve o'clock. Yes, getting a three year old ready to leave the house really does take that long, at least for my three year old. It's a struggle. A struggle to go potty. A struggle to find the perfect pair of socks, no... tights, no... socks, yes... socks. A struggle to pick out what bow to put in her hair. A struggle to eat something before we leave. Can you see where I'm at? It's a three year old's world and I am just the mother.

I also had to get our twins dressed. This meant having the very delicate decision to either dress them before or after they ate. I opted before for our son and after for our daughter. Of course it didn't much matter. Our son spit up before he ate, while he ate, and after he ate. He even spit up in the car on our way to the mall.

We then had to get everyone in the minivan. My husband put our toddler and one of the twins in first. Then I brought out the diaper bag and the other twin. I sat in the driver's seat. "Did you remember the receipt for the Easter Bunny?" (we paid online). Shit. I have to go back inside. "My friend, Mommy! And my baby." OK, so I go back into the house and get the Bunny receipt and my daughter's friend, which happens to be one of those toy poppers (the toy with the handle that pops balls around inside a plastic bubble when you walk with it). I also pick out a random baby from her bed in hopes that she will just except the fact I didn't know which baby she was talking about. I get back to the car and success! She decided not to have a breakdown over the "wrong" baby I picked out.

With all that we made it to the mall. We were walking through the parking lot, I look down and notice our daughter had her shoes on the wrong feet. How is she not complaining? She complains about her shoes, sneakers, boots, all the time because she would rather be barefoot, yet she thinks having her shoes on the wrong feet is comfortable? Ugh. We get inside and I help her switch them around. Luckily that was a smooth process.

Walking through the mall with a running, skipping, just plain excited toddler and a double stroller with twins in tow is an interesting experience. We get comments like, "Oh, they must be twins." "Wow, they have their hands full." "You must be the big sister?" "What are they?" "Are they identical?" "Are they twins?" We also get smiling faces, chuckles, sometimes looks of sympathy. It's definitely different from just going out with one baby/kid. Having twins almost gives you a bright, blinking sign that says, "Hey everybody! Come check me and my family out. Look at my three under four mommy life. Look, I have twins and a toddler. Look, look, look!"

Anyway, we finally get to where the Easter Bunny is. We always do the "Fast Pass" (order online beforehand) so we don't have to wait on line. This saves us a lot of time and also helps deter a possible toddler and baby melt down. I had to prep my daughter beforehand, telling her that she would not be able to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap because her baby brother and sister would have to be held by him. She seemed OK with it. Once she saw the bunny, she didn't really seem to care where she was as long as it was near him anyway. She was so star struck. It was adorable, at least to me and my husband.

The photo went off without a hitch. No crying babies, everyone was awake, toddler was smiling and looking at the camera. It was great. But the best part of the day: my husband and I didn't have to be in the picture like we did when we saw Santa this past Christmas due to toddler not wanting me to let her go. I don't want to be in these pictures so, yes, that was the best part of the day!

Britax B-Agile Double Stroller

Oh boy! It's here. Our new Britax B-Agile Double Stroller. I absolutely love this stroller even though I just got it and haven't used it outside of the house yet. With all of the great reviews it has gotten, how could I not have bought this side by side stroller?

Yes, I opted for the side by side for our twins. A tandem stroller just seems so cruel. Someone is always going to be stuck in the crappy front seat that doesn't lean back enough to take a decent nap or get stuck in the crappy back seat where all you can see in front of you is another seat. The side by side has no issues like that.

The B-Agile also has a lot of really nice features. My favorites include:

1. The canopies are H-U-G-E huge! Definitely no concern about the sun getting in anyone's eyes.
2. The seats recline practically the whole way which makes this a good stroller for babies and napping.
3. The basket can actually fit my, over stuffed because I have twins, diaper bag. And I'll have access to it through the back, sides, and front of the stroller. Yes, I did say front. The leg area of both seats has a zipper opening which leads to the basket. How cool is that?
4. The adjustable handle is awesome! I can even lower it enough where my three year old can push the stroller without having her arms straining to reach the bar. That is very important because like many three year olds, mine wants to do it herself.
5. What a ride. Not only are the seats nicely padded, but the suspension seems really good which makes for a smooth ride.

Now I need to find a stroller standing board that will fit this stroller. Obviously when I'm out with my husband or someone else, my toddler can use her umbrella stroller if she needs it, but what about when I'm alone? My concern is that I will be walking my three year old to pre-school come September when weather permits. I will have this B-Agile stroller for the twins, but what if my toddler gets tired from walking and wants or needs to sit? The school is a mile away so it is possible for her little legs to get really overworked. Britax does make a stroller standing board for older kids, but they say it's not compatible with the double stroller. Then I read a blog post review for the Joovy Bumprider Universal Stroller Board. The reviewer had attached it to her Britax B-Agile double stroller and said it fit perfectly. So that's something to think about. 

Bottom line is this: If you are in the market for a double stroller, you cannot go wrong with the Britax B-Agile Double Stroller. You will fall in love with it the moment you take it out of the box, I promise!

  

FYI: I am not getting paid to make any reviews. These are just the things I have used or do use and want to let more parents know about.

My Top 4 (Fictional) Parenting Role Models

There are a few television shows we watch at my house that have the best parenting role models. I know they are fictional and nobody can truly be all calm and collective by a rambunctious and/or destructive toddler, but I want to be that way most of the time. Here are a few parents or caregivers from shows that we as parents need to take note of so we don't end up stressing over all the things toddlers and older children do:

Mommy and Daddy Pig (Peppa Pig). They do get frustrated at Peppa and her younger brother, George, but they always talk in a calm voice and explain why something was wrong or bad. They don't yell or talk at Peppa as most parents do, myself included. It's really hard to keep a calming tone in your voice when all you want to do is scream as loud as you can at the fact your toddler has deliberately tossed her entire cereal on the floor all the while looking at you with a devilish look in her eyes as if to say, "Hey, Mom. Look what I'm doing. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it? Yell? I still won't clean it up, sucka."

The Man With the Yellow Hat (Curious George). This guy is so understanding it sometimes makes me angry. Then I realize George doesn't know any better because he is a monkey and I assume that's the reason for the yellow hat man's nonchalant approach to "parenting." Then I think that a toddler really doesn't know any better either and I should have the same attitude as well. Why get so aggravated by the fact my three year old turns getting her pajamas on into a game of run around naked and show off my butt? Is it really that important to be all serious with her about it being bedtime and not playtime. Why can't I take two minutes to laugh and giggle with her to show that I find her spirit and playfulness to be exactly how it should be at her age? Why do I have to make it difficult for her to enjoy life, which is basically what I'm doing when I yell at her for playing? I know there's a time to play and a time to be serious and get things done, but at three years old? How is taking two minutes to say, "yes, that's so funny and you are so funny, now let's get those p.j.'s on" gonna hurt? It actually takes longer to get mad than it does to go along with it. By yelling and getting mad in turn gets her mad and then a temper tantrum is on the rise. Just take a tip from The Man With the Yellow Hat and go with the flow every now and then.

Ruby (Max and Ruby). First of all, where are Max and Ruby's parents? They leave a seven year old to take care of a, what? Two to three year old? That's a different subject all together though. OK, big sis Ruby. She never gets truly aggravated by the annoyance that is her little brother. She explains her reasonings for things and calmly leads Max to do "the right thing." Of course, sometimes Max was right all along or he has happy accidents to seem like he was actually helping Ruby out. Nevertheless, Max is annoying and Ruby knows it but she also knows that he is a toddler and toddlers do play and get into trouble and they, for the most part, don't realize anything is wrong by what they do. Ruby, herself, is also annoying and bossy, but who's disciplining her? Not her parents.

All the adults (Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood). Not only do these adults have really catchy jingles to explain the reasonings about stuff, they always kneel down or try to get at eye level with the kids. This is a tactic I have noticed works a lot with my toddler - talking to her eye to eye. It must be intimidating to have a much larger person talk down at you in a stern voice. By taking a knee or sitting, you are making the situation a little less stressful for your little one. They may listen better to what you have to say rather than have a total melt down and scream at every little sound that comes out of your mouth. When I get down to talk calmly eye to eye with my three year old, she usually will comply with what I'm trying to get across and then wants to hug. It doesn't always go smoothly but when it does, it feels so nice.

So, the next time you feel like you want to strangle your toddler for whining and screaming for the fifteen-thousandth time to get what she wants, remember these parents and ask yourself, "What would Mommy Pig do?" Then take a breath, relax your mind, and try to calm the devil in your toddler.