Sibling Fun

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when I heard Lily call me to come see her. Uh oh. What was she doing this time? Then, as I came out of the kitchen, I saw this...

I love that Lily wants to play with her 6 month old brother and sister, but did I love the fact that she somehow climbed into the pack n play to do so? Uh... maybe not so much. I didn't here any screams of pain or crying, so I guess she made it in there without stepping or falling on one or both of them. That's a plus!

You Know You're A Parent of "3 under 4" When...

1. ... you hate laundry day because everyday is laundry day.
2. your 3 year old wants to march to the kitchen, bathroom, around the dining room table, or just about anywhere and you get tired after the first few steps.
3. ... before you feed the twins, you change one of their diapers and think "I can wait to change the other one's diaper until after they eat." Or you don't change both of their diapers until after they eat because, well, you'll just have to change them both again right after they eat anyway.
4. ... getting out of bed anytime in the night with twins is dreaded because you know as soon as you take care of one baby, you'll get all cozy in bed again and the other one will wake up.
5. ... you secretly jump for joy when someone, anyone, calls you up to take even just one child off your hands for a few hours - even if it's just to come over to play in his/her room.
6. ... it takes you two hours to get everyone ready and in their car seats to go out somewhere.
7. ... you have given up trying hard for your 3 year old not to put her snotty, coughy, grimy hands all over your 6 month old twins' faces. It's better for everyone to be sick at the same time anyway, right?
8. ... you realize you're sorta an expert when it comes to multitasking and laugh at parents of one who complain about not being able to get stuff done.
9. ... you fantasize about running away to a remote island or your car for a few hours.
10. ... you have all three kids hanging on you and you think, "I have an amazing life" then someone spits up all over your shirt.
11. ... someone spits up all over your shirt and you smile because you know you'll be doing another load of laundry that day anyway.

Buried In Laundry

With two adults and three children I sometimes feel like all I do is laundry. Then I look around and realize that it's true. I always have at least one basket of laundry left to fold and put away but then, guess what? I have to start all over again. So I don't think there will ever be just one last basket of laundry to put away. Maybe I'll start calling the last basket, the first. That seems about right.

Britax Marathon Clicktight Car Seat

I changed my twins' car seats on Sunday (the 12th). They will no longer rest their wiggly bodies in the comfort of their infant carriers. Even though they are still able to fit in them, I do not wish to struggle with the weight of it all. Especially Killian, our boy, Mommy's mushmallow, such a big boy at six months old. No longer able to carry him in the infant carrier with one hand, I was having such a hard time getting the seat in and out of the van. Piper was still OK, but if I changed one seat, I wanted to change them both. Maybe I thought one would get jealous of the other? Possible.

Anyway, we have the Britax Marathon 70 for our three year old daughter, Lily, so we wanted the same seat for our twins. Because it has been three years, Britax has come out with newer versions of the Marathon seat. We opted to get the Marathon Clicktight. Awesome comes to mind with the ease of installation. Seriously. Just awesome!

Pros:

1. Installation. No more kneeling or sitting on the car seat and struggling to make the seat belt or latch belts tight enough for the it to be safe. All you do is lift open the seat, pull the seat belt through, then close the seat until you hear a click sound. Easy as 1-2-3!
2. All the safest safety stuff that's really important...
3. Did I mention the ease of installation?

Cons:

1. The seat itself is really heavy. Heavier than the regular Marathon seat. This is not really a con though, since you will most likely never take the seat out of your car until your kid outgrows it. But, for those of you who might be taking it in and out, then, yeah, it's heavy....but did I mention the ease of installation? So again, not really a con!

FYI: I am not getting paid to make any reviews. These are just the things I have used or do use and want to let more parents know about.

My Twins Are 6 Months Old

My twin babies are six months old. This time has gone by in a blink of one eye and even though I am sad that I will never again have a baby that fits the length of my torso, I am happy that they are growing healthy and strong.

At their six month checkup Monday (the 13th), Killian and Piper were weighed and measured. Here are their stats...

Killian: 21 pounds, 8 ounces, 27.5 inches
Wow. Killian more than tripled his 6 pounds, .05 ounce birth weight. He is in the 97.4 percentile with both height and weight for a six month old.

Piper: 18 pound, 1 ounce, 27 inches

Piper just almost tripled her 6 pound, 2.2 ounce birth weight. She is in the 67.9 percentile.

Toddlers and Markers

OK, cute. Right? Also funny, but being the parent of a child who does this, you gotta be very careful how you react. When my three year old came into my bedroom Sunday morning with a huge smile on her face screaming excitedly, "Mommy! Lily O K.C.! Lily O K.C.!" I should not have laughed. Not out loud, at least. But I did. It was funny. She was funny.

Let's take this back a bit so you understand where my daughter came up with the idea to "tattoo" herself. My big brother, my only brother, has a ton of tattoos. Here's a picture so you can kinda get the idea:

This was Lily and my brother when she was two and a half months old, so she's seen tattoos her whole life. Nothing out of the ordinary for her. My brother, her uncle (or "O" as Lily puts it) also has a beard. Again, nothing out of the ordinary for her. Every time Lily sees a guy with a beard or sees tattoos, she immediately associates it with her "O K.C."

So, that was the back story. Flash forward to this past Sunday and now you know why she drew on herself. She wanted to be like her O K.C. and have tattoos. I have no idea why she was thinking about that and what prompted her to pick up the marker, but she did and it was very funny. I always see or hear stories about children who do this type of thing but never imagined my daughter would do it. I, myself, had once drawn on my body with a kid's blue eyeshadow "crayon." Long story short, I fell asleep and because I was a very heavy sleeper, my aunt and parents thought I was unconscious, turning blue because I was dying and rushed me to the hospital. I didn't wake up until after the nurse called over the speaker, "Code Blue!" and the doctor realized what was really going on. Good times. I wonder if my parents laughed about that one when we all got home from the hospital?

Anyway, let me say again how I should not have laughed out loud... This picture was from yesterday (Monday).

Great. Now she gave herself a beard. Still proclaiming she's O K.C. and very proud of herself. Remind me to hide the markers! At least we only buy washable markers, crayons, and paint for her so cleanup wasn't that bad. I also should be relieved that her artistic abilities of making herself look oh so fantastic, didn't spill over to her baby brother and sister who were sitting by her, most likely watching her do this to herself. So, thanks Lily? I guess?

Why I Know It's OK To Cry At Any Milestone

It's a sad day indeed. My three year old said "Killian." Well, she really said "Killilan" but close enough. Killian is her baby brother. I should be happy that she said his name. She's been able to say her sister's name, Piper, for a while now, so why is it making me sad for her to say her brother's?

To answer this question we must go back a year. January 2014 to be exact. January of 2014, around the time of her second birthday, Lily was only saying one coherent word, "Daddy." She then had her own language for everything else, including her own version of sign language. Point was, she needed speech therapy. We went through all the channels to get her an in-home therapist twice a week. Within six months, Lily was putting words together and you could sorta follow what she was saying. Then, by her third birthday this past January, she was done with speech and talking up a storm. There are still some words that she just can't say, but she's three and it just makes her sound so darn cute.

Anyway, one of these words was her brother's name, Killian. She could never pronounce it and her version of his name was "Titi." Don't ask me how she got Titi from Killian, but she did and I liked it. It would be what she called him, forever. Her own nickname for him. Unfortunately, it would come to an end. Out of the blue, a couple of days ago, she pointed at her brother and said, "Killilan." I was very proud of her for saying his name correctly. It didn't quite hit me though until she started saying it all the time. I asked her if she will still call him Titi and she responded with, "No Mommy. He Killilan." I teared up. I wanted to full on cry, but then I thought that was silly of me, plus my husband was home from work and I didn't really want to explain why I was crying in fear I would cry even harder.

My little girl is growing up. She's accomplished so much with her speech, but it hasn't really sunk in to what that really means until she said that one word, "Killilan." Lily is not my baby anymore. She's my toddler going on pre-schooler. She's picking out her own clothes to wear everyday and making other choices like what to eat and what color she likes - white. She's slowly becoming her own little person and it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. I can only imagine that other moms and dads feel the same when their children reach a certain age or hit a certain milestone. It makes me wonder about my own parents and what was it that I did or said that made them think I wasn't their baby anymore? For that matter, what was it that my older brother did and my two younger sisters did to make them think that? Did it make them as happy and as sad as it's making me feel?

I don't even want to think about when my twins get to that point 'cause that will be it for me - no more babies. That part of my life will be over. I think that makes me feel the saddest. That's why I know it's OK that I cried over that one little word. That's why I know it's OK to cry at any milestone. My babies can't stay babies forever, except, maybe in my heart.

Dear Children,

This is your mother. You know, the one who sacrificed a lot to carry you inside of my womb? The one who painstakingly pushed you out into this world? You know me as Mommy? Anyway, I am writing to you today to let you know of a few fun facts about life right now. This is not to make you feel in any way, guilty or embarrassed. You should feel loved knowing that I am taking the time to write about you three and how you all make me feel. You should also feel honored that my love for you is now out there in cyberland for all to view. You are famous to those ten or so people who actually read my blog. Congratulations!

1. Please know that I love all three of you so deeply that it can make me cry at any point.
2. Lily, you are our first born, our rainbow baby, and continue to be our light after any dark storm. You alway want us to be happy and ever since you came into our lives, we truly are.
3. Killian, you are my little mushmallow, my cuddle monkey, and are just a sweet, little baby boy who can melt my heart with just a glance.
4. Piper, you are our last born, the baby of the family. You are always so happy with the most amazing blue eyes that shine as bright as sapphires. Your smile is intoxicating. 
5. I'm not too fond of your potty training or lack there of, Lily. I guess I have myself to blame, for the most part, but come on! You know when you have to go. You've kept yourself dry, always using the potty, for a whole week and then for a day here and there. Just do it all the time now. Contrary to what you may think, I do not like wiping your poopy butt.
6. Piper, it's not very nice to laugh at your twin brother when he cries. That goes for you too, Killian. Just stop laughing at each other when the other is having a hard time. It's not to say I don't find it a little funny, 'cause I do, but it's gotta stop.
7. Lily, farting on me and then saying, "Lily farted on Mommy" and laughing is kinda gross, not to mention rude. Please outgrow that soon.
8. Killian and Piper, I do have to say that I appreciate you not screaming your heads off when you have a dirty, poopy diaper, but a little heads up would be nice. I don't really like thinking that you have a clean diaper and then smelling, what I can only describe as toxic garbage, from across the room. Oh, and thank you for pooing at the same time almost always. The smell is doubled which makes me think that's where the term, "double trouble" came from.
9. Lily, can you please stop thinking that bedtime is nap time? You are three years old. You should be able to sleep through the night. And news flash: you used to sleep through the night before Killian and Piper came home. Just because you're a Big Sister now, doesn't mean that you should start acting like the baby. Killian and Piper will be six months old next week and they've been sleeping through the night for about four months now. I'm not telling you to be more like them, but please, be more like them and sleep through the night.
10. Killian, please stop spitting up three hours after you ate. It doesn't make sense and it's kinda annoying. I don't want you to have to constantly wear a bib, but if you're gonna be "Mr. Spit-up" then so be it.
11. Piper, I like that you are trying to sit up all on your own, but please know that you don't have to constantly try to do it. I mean, it's OK to relax every once in a while. Especially at feeding time or when you are already sitting up. Stop pushing your head forward and clenching your fists to your chest. We get it. You want to be a big girl, but it's really not a race here. Slow down.

There's a lot more I can discuss with you three, but I'll save some for later. Just please always remember that Mommy loves you, Lily, Killian, and Piper. Mommy loves you more than the beating of my own heart. 

I'll finish this post with a quote from Led Zeppelin's Thank You:

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

And The Samples' Nothing Lasts For Long:

Maybe nothing lasts for ever
Not the mountains or the sea
But the times we have together
They will always be with me

Love with all that I am and all I ever will be,

Mommy

Weighing In To Feel Your Best

Not that I want to give up how much I weigh, 'cause it's really nobody's business, but I will say that I am more than I should be. I don't have a problem with the number my weight is, I have a problem with how this number makes me feel. Girls and women alike, are so concerned with a number but in reality it's not the number that should concern them.

For the past five and a half years, ever since getting married, I have put on a total of eighty-six pounds. What? Eighty-six is a huge number, but there was good reason for most of it. In these five and a half years, I have been pregnant four times, given birth two times, carried twins one of those times, been through infertility and all the tests and medications that come along with that, and now am raising three beautiful children while being married to one supportive husband. I was at the most I have ever weighed at the very end of my twin pregnancy this past October (2014) - two hundred sixteen pounds. I am five foot five inches tall so that was a ton of weight even though a lot of it had to do with the two babies.

Now, just shy of six months after my twins were born, I have lost fifty-two pounds. That's a good number for six months, but I want to lose more. I need to lose another thirty-four pounds to be at my ideal weight. This is the weight at which I feel my best. Not too thin where I look like a skeleton, but thin enough for me to have the best stamina. That's what's important, not the number, but how you feel. At my ideal weight, I don't feel sluggish. I don't get out of breath easily. I have lots of energy and feel good and healthy. This is where most girls and women get it all wrong. You don't have to be at a specific number that you came up with in your head because you're a certain height, but be at a specific number because this number is where you feel your best. I know I'm repeating myself, but this is so important. If you are losing weight and you get to a point where you feel your most healthy, stop. Stop losing weight. You don't need to be a size one if you feel your best at a size eight.

Women are so concerned with numbers. Their weight and the size of their clothes are always on their minds. For a time in my life, it was on my mind, too. On my mind until I realized that I just wanted to enjoy my life and it was OK to stop worrying. No one is looking at the tags inside your clothes to see what size you're wearing. No one is watching over you as you step on the scale. So stop. Stop worrying about what other people might think. It only matters what you think and especially how you feel. So I will stop. I will stop when I get to my best feeling weight of one hundred thirty pounds.

I was here at 216 pounds:

I need to be hare at 130 pounds:

M&M Cookies

My 3 year old wanted to bake cookies. She asked for "white" cookies since white is her favorite color. Yeah, white. She's cool like that! Anyway, I came across this recipe for M&M cookies and there were two reasons why I decided to make these with her:

1. My daughter likes M&M's
2. I just so happen to have a large bag of M&M's in my kitchen cabinet

Get the recipe HERE

So to the kitchen we went with this recipe. I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome of these. They are small cookies, but remain soft even days later. The dough itself has a light flavor so the M&M's really give it that extra sweetness you might be craving. 

I later made these as plain chocolate chip cookies, leaving out the M&M's and they were also very good. I used mini semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of regular size. Since the cookie is small, I didn't want a large chip to distract from the actual dough.

Because of their size, you will get a lot of cookies from one batter...

... so go ahead and share!

Twins - Who's the Boss?

 "Hey, Killian, c'mon. Look at me."

 "Seriously, Killian. Look at me!"

 "I don't care if you're a whole 6 minutes older than me. I am the boss!"

"Mom! Piper's scaring me! Tell her to let me go."

Twins After A Singleton

When we found out I was carrying twins, my first thought was, "We need a minivan." My second thought was "How am I going to split up my heart to love all three of my children equally?" When you have one child, all of your love is meant for that one child. My husband goes to work everyday and I'm a stay at home mom so my days were filled with quality alone time with my daughter. It was just me and her throughout the day and I loved it. We had our morning routine, our afternoon routine, and once my husband came home, a night routine for the three of us. So when we found out there would not only be one baby breaking up the routine, but two, I was a little more than nervous about it.

How was my daughter going to react when it wasn't just her and me anymore? Having twins would take up a lot more of my time than if it was just one. How was I going to manage it? How was I going to love these two new babies as much as I love my daughter? Would I be able to still have quality alone time with my daughter and quality alone time with the two other babies?

I was scared. Scared until our twins came home from the NICU. Our beautiful, sweet, and caring toddler was all about the babies. She was and is like a little mommy. She's nurturing and loving towards them. It's an amazing thing to see. I think about some stories I've heard about older siblings reacting badly towards the new baby and we've definitely lucked out with not having to worry about that. She is the Big Sister and loving every second of it.

Funny thing is that my heart did get split up equally for all three of my children. I don't know how, but it did. All the worrying should've been geared towards another concern. A concern that I had no clue about until our twins were home with us. "Am I spending enough time with our twins?"

Yes, I spend everyday, all day with our twins, but our bonding time is somewhat limited. They share my attention with not only each other, but with a three year old who still remembers what it was like before they got here. A time when she had all of my attention. It's so difficult to just sit and hold my twins individually for a period of time before I have to pay attention to the other one or my toddler. I used to hold my toddler for hours. Just staring at her, caressing her face, memorizing every little fold in her chubby little arms and legs. Studying the curve of her mouth and just breathing her sweet baby scent in. I'm lucky if I get five minutes to do that with my twins. My three year old is a three year old. She wants to play all the time and wants all the attention on her. It's hard when I tell her I can't play because I have to not only take the time to feed one baby, but two. Then it's time to change, not one diaper, but two. Then it's time to calm down, not one baby, but two. Put, not one baby down for a nap, but two. Check in on, not one baby, but two. And so on, and so on, and so on. What might take a half hour with a singleton is now taking an hour or more with twins. That is my biggest concern now. How does this affect my toddler? The constant, "No, I'm sorry. I can't right now I have to ___ with the babies."

Luckily, my three year old is patient (as patient as a three year old can be). She will wait for me to be done with the babies, for now, but will her patience run thin? I just feel guilty sometimes. Guilty for always having to say to my toddler, "One more second." and "I'll be right there after I ____ with the babies." Guilty for not being able to hold my twins for hours like I did when my toddler was their age. Guilty for feeling guilty. I'm sure most moms go through this, especially moms of twins after a singleton. I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves that we are doing the best we can with what we were given - one body, two arms, two hands, and only twenty-four hours in the day.